Saturday, December 31, 2011

Alone In December

This is the song to end my one hell of a year,2011..

Alone In December by one of my favorite bands..Underoath..



you always amazed me
but that's the past
you always amazed me
but that's the past

i kept silent and it rained for days
my insides were drenched
but i guess that's the part of growing up
i never wanted to learn ( wanted to learn)

and i grew into the man
that you never knew
but i wouldn't be this way
if it wasn't for you
100 thank you's
if this is love
fairy tales never came true
judies are black and in full bloom
and i died in the womb

take it back, all that's gone
it's all still there like you left it
december stayed the same
nothing ever changed but you(nothing ever changed but you)

every dream covered in dents
love can't fly tonight
couples will rest, i'll be sleepless
so cry yourself to sleep
this isn't about broken hearts
this is about me
bending again for nothing (nothing)

id run to you but pain awaits
im coming home
but ill be late
no deeper than imagination can be
sight with nothing to see

whats faith if i cant believe
its everything
a cure but i make it a disease
God take me because i hate me

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Hidup ini seperti kayuhan basikal...

Aku rindu basikal aku...Aku rindu sangat nak kayuh basikal aku...Basikal aku...Satu-satunya benda yang tidak akan meninggalkan aku..Aku perlu naik semula dan kayuh semula...Hanya aku,basikal,dan perjalanan kami berdua ke hadapan...Sejauh mana pon perjalanan,ia akan tetap di bawah aku,menyokong dengan sepenuh hati...Tanpa prejudis..Tanpa menjadi judgemental...Menerima aku seadanya..Menerima saja siapa aku yang akan mengerakkannya...

Aku terjatuh dari basikal..Bukan bermakud ia mahu menjatuhkan aku,tetapi ianya mengajar aku erti kesilapan...Kesilapan sendiri dalam kayuhan ini..Mengajar aku untuk kembali semula ke atasnya dan teruskan kayuhan..Jangan menoleh lagi,pesannya..Perjalanan kita masih jauh,wahai penggerak kita berdua,katanya...Basikal aku perlukan aku untuk bergerak..dan aku perlukan basikal untuk bergerak..Sama-sama memerlukan...Sama-sama ke hadapan..

Biarlah mereka terlebih dahulu memintas aku dengan basikal mereka..Biarlah ramai yang cuba menjatuhkan..Biarlah mereka terlebih dahulu tiba di garisan penamat..Biarlah mereka terlebih dahulu mengucup piala kebahagiaan..Biarkan mereka,kerana aku masih mempunyai basikal aku disisi..Kerana,pada akhirnya,ia akan tetap berada di sisi aku..Masih akan disisi aku untuk kembali meneruskan perjalanan..

Tapi,aku dah berdosa bagi basikal aku...Aku tinggalkannya bila dia masih berdiri teguh di sebelah aku suatu masa itu..."Tidak mengapa,aku sanggup berkorban untuk kau wahai rakanku.."..Ujarnya ketika aku begitu memerlukan bantuannya..Banyak barang-barangnya telah kujual..Semata-mata ingin meneruskan perjalanan yang tidak pasti itu..Tidak mengapa,ia memahami...Aku hargai pengorbanannya itu...

Tidak mengapa rakanku..Aku akan kembali disisimu...Kita akan sama-sama meneruskan kembali perjalanan itu..kehadapan...Kita akan kembali..Kita akan kembali...


"Maafkan aku"

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Bukak Hijab?

"Kau dah tengok cerita Hijab?Alaaaa..yang Pierre Abdre berlakon tu..."..kata Rakan Sengal malam tu..Gua lepak-lepak dengan dia..

"Hijab?Cerita pasal apa?"..tanya aku...Aku tahu cerita tu..

"Owh..dia cerita pasal mamat neh..Nak tengok hantu..So,dia pergi jumpa makcik sorang neh..Suruh bukak hijab.."..explain Rakan Sengal...

"Owhhhh..dia buat macam mana nak bukak hijab tu?"..tanya aku..untuk menduga..he he he...

"Yer laaa..jampi-jampi..letak benda apa tah kat mata dia..Then terbukaklah hijab dia..Terus dia boleh nampak hantu..Takut sial.."..hurainya lagi...

"Apalah kau neh..Benda-benda karut tu pon nak percaya..Tak payah jampi-jampi neh pon ko boleh bukak hijab kau.."..kata aku dengan serius...Sesuai dengan imej aku yang serius..Muka dia chuak..tapi berminat..

"Aku tahuuuu ada cara..Tapi taknak lah aku..Seram"..balas Rakan Sengal..

"Tu pon nak takut..Apalah..Diorang pon makhluk Tuhan jugak..Aku tahu cara dia..Pak Lang aku ajar..Dia memang ada ilmu-ilmu batin neh.."..masih lagi serius gua explain sama dia..

"Macam mana nak bukak hijab neh?"..berminat pulak mamat sekor neh..

"Senang ja,kau pergi Jalan TAR,kau beli tudung Wardina..Balik,depan cermin kau pakai,and then kau tengok muka kau yang bertudung tu...Jangan gelak,nanti tak jadi..Then,kau bukak hijab tu,kau tengok dalam cermin tu...Ada muka hantu..Serius!.Haaa itulah yang dinamakan bukak hijab."..explain aku panjang...

"Itu bukak tudung la babi..."..marah pulak Rakan Sengal..

"Hijab tu bukan tudung..?"...tanya aku selamba..

Rakan Subweiiiiii dah gelak guling-guling kat sebelah....

Monday, December 19, 2011

Pasar Malam..

"Gua nak pegi pasar malam la..."..kata gua suatu hari tu kepada Rakan Gebu...

"Eh molek le tu..Jom jom"..balas Rakan Gebu sambil siap2 pakai deoderen...

"Gua lapaq putu butoh la.."..kata gua selamba...

"Bodoh,putu buluh la.."..balas Rakan Gebu...

"Naharammmm.."..balas gua ringkas...

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Hans Isaac dan gua..

Okay,berjalan lah gua kat The Curve tu...bersama rakan-rakan gua menuju Cineleasure..Dengar cerita,The Muppet Show best..Nak jugak tengok Kermit berlakon..

Sambil berjalan,ramai plak yang usha gua..

Ikshh..Ada yang tak kena ka...?Tanya gua dalam hati...

Zip seluar tak tutup kot..Adik dah terkeluar agaknya...Cepat-cepat gua buat-buat betulkan tali pinggang sambil jari kelingking check zip suar..Tutup...Adik masih bersembunyi..Gua terus tenang...

Masih kena usha..Wahh..Apa hal neh...Ada nasik ka terlekat kat bibir gua?..Cepat-cepat gua buat-buat baca doa dan terus aminkan..Sambil amin,check ada tak nasik kat bibir..Alhamdullillah..Sambil doakan kesejahteraan hidup,gua boleh check nasik...Takdak..

Ahh sudah..Still kena usha...

Tiba-tiba,gua terdengar...

"Eh eh..Hans Isaac la.."..kata sorang awek...

Wah..baru lu tau gua sapa...Gua dah cakap..Gua memang ada iras-iras Hans Isaac..Aritu iras-iras Aaron Ajis...

"Eh eh Hans Isaac.."..dengar lagi dari Makcik Garden plak...

Iksh..sudah-sudahla tu..Gua tau la..

Sampai ja kat eskelator,gua pusing nak tengok Rakan-Rakan gua..Babi,Hans Isaac kat belakang.SERIUS!...Celaka..Gua kena game...Terus gua moral down..

"Eh eh..Aaron Aziz dan Hans Isaac la.."..tiba-tiba gua terdengar sorang awek neh plak cakap...

Terus gua kembali bersemangat...Gua tau gua tau...

Terus tak jadi tengok wayang,gua terus pergi berlakon cerita Ombak Rindu-Rinduan Cubit-Cubitan...


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Kau adalah Penyelamat...

Rupa-rupanya,di sebalik kehilangan sesuatu,penyelamat akan datang jugak akhirnya...

Serius..Beleklah gua petang itu sambil layan Facebook tengok mana tau ada artikel pelik-pelik lagi keluar,macam itu hari,gua ada baca,"Ombak Rindu" dikatakan merosakkan agama dan akidah remaja berdasarkan aksi-aksi ranjang yang dipaparkan...Gua malas nak komen..Tapi ianya agak sempit dalam konteks dunia sekarang..Sorilah Maleis Bodoh,lu mesti tak pernah layan porn kan?

Belek punya belek,tiba-tiba termasuklah aku kedalam page seseorang yang aku kenal...Click..

Aku tergamam..Terlopong..Dada berdebar kencang...Mata mengalirkan air mata..Badan menggigil dengan ketara..Serius,aku bagaikan hendak mengalirkan air mata...

Gambar yang dipaparkan di muka buku dia sungguh membuatkan aku berdebar kencang...

Cantik..Boleh membuatkan hati sesiapa yang melihatnya gugur..Bagaikan cinta pandang pertama..dan terus aku jatuh cinta dengan apa yang aku lihat...Aku menjerit sekuatnya...

Gambar neh yang aku maksudkan..
"Abang-abang nak mai Malaysia neh..Adik Hanjeng dah ready dah nak jumpa abang-abang semua?"..caption gambar neh yang membuatkan aku menangis sekuat hati..Menangis kegembiraan..

"THIS IS FUCKING HAPPENING!!!!!!!!'"

Underoath is coming to town muthafucka..JYEAHHHHH!!!!!!!..You are my savior..Yes,you are really my savior...


Enjoy this video..Please enjoy it...

I've been up at this all night long
I've been drowning in my sleep
I've prayed for your safe place
And its time for us to leave

Time is running, its running on empty and the gas is running out
I've decided tonight is the night
That I let love aside
Full speed ahead this seems to be the place
I've seen this once before
Planned perfection sought in my dreams
Hoping this would take you home

My knuckles have turned to white
There's no turning back tonight
Kiss me one last time

Around this turn where
the cross will cast your shadow
The people will all gather
To remember such a day
where the flames grew as high as trees
And the world it stopped, it stopped for you and me

My knuckles have turned to white
There's no turning back tonight
Kiss me one last time
Shut your eyes

My knuckles have turned to white
There's no turning back tonight
So hold on tight
Kiss me one last time
Shut your eyes

I will now bring new meaning to the word alone
Endless nights of dreaming of life
But today we should have spent here

Drowning in my sleep, I'm drowning in my sleep

Glass shatters and comes to a halt
I thought we'd be there by now
I thought it would be so much quicker than this

Pain has never been so brilliant
I made sure you were buckled in
Now you can walk hand in hand
Hand in hand with him

My knuckles have turned to white
There's no turning back tonight
Kiss me one last time
Shut your eyes

My knuckles have turned to white
There's no turning back tonight
So hold on tight
Kiss me one last time

Friday, December 9, 2011

Hey you,yes you...


We touch I feel a rush
We clutch it isn't much
But it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us
It's lust, it's torturous
You must be a sorceress 'cause you just
Did the impossible
Gained my trust don't play games it'll be dangerous
If you fuck me over
'Cause if I get burnt imma show you what it's like to hurt
'Cause I been treated like dirt before you
And love is "evol"
Spell it backwards I'll show you

Nobody knows me I'm cold
Walk down this road all alone
It's no one's fault but my own
It's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow I show no emotion whatsoever so
Don't ask me why I have no love for these motherfucking hoes
Bloodsucking succubuses, what the fuck is up with this?
I've tried in this department but I ain't had no luck with this
It sucks but it's exactly what I thought it would be
Like trying to start over
I got a hole in my heart, for some kind of emotional rollercoaster
Something I won't go on 'til you toy with my emotion, so it's over
It's like an explosion every time I hold you, I wasn't joking when I told you
You take my breath away
You're a supernova... and I'm a

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
Two hundred fifty thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
Right at you

I do whatever it takes
When I'm with you I get the shakes
My body aches when I ain't
With you I have zero strength
There's no limit on how far I would go
No boundaries, no lengths
Why do we say that until we get that person that we thinks
Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em it's never the same?
You want them when they don't want you
Soon as they do feelings change
It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate
I wasn't looking but I stumbled onto you must've been fate
But so much is at stake what the fuck does it take
Let's cut to the chase
But a door shuts in your face
Promise me if I cave in and break and leave myself open
That I won't be making a mistake
Cause I'm a...

So after a year and 6 months it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much it hurts
Never mistreated you once
I poured my heart out to you
Let down my guard swear to God
I'll blow my brains in your lap
Lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleading
I'm trying to stop you from leaving
You won't even listen so fuck it
I'm trying to stop you from breathing
I put both hands on your throat
I sit on top of you squeezing
'Til I snap you neck like a Popsicle stick
Ain't no possible reason I could think of to let you walk about this house
And let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks
Then I let you go and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple
I told you this

And I would've done anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now
It's too late to save our love
Just promise me you'll think of me every time you look up in the sky and see a star 'cause I'm a

I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm so lost without you
Without you
Without you

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Ombak Rindu

Lepaklah gua petang tu kat kedai makan depan simpang masuk rumah gua neh...

Ayaq sirap sebagai peneman..Rokok sebagai kawan...Tv kedai sebagai sahabat..

Belakang gua 3 orang brader lepak minum-minum sambil sembang-sembang..Gaya macam besar..Gaya abang-abang...Nampak memang power...

"Malam tu aku dah pergi dah jumpa budak tak guna tu..Tanak bayar jugak.."..Kata Abang Pertama..

"Aku dah cakap dah..Budak tu memang dasar tak makan saman..Aku rasa macam nak pukul ja budak tu.."..balas Abang Kedua..

"Aku dah nak hayun penumbuk aku dah malam tu..Nasib baik ada member-member dia plak kat kawasan tu..Kawasan dia,berani la dia besar kepala..Celaka.."..Balas Abang Pertama tadi...

"Kau jangan risau..Aku dah roger dah budak-budak..Tunggu aku call jer,diorang turun.."..balas Abang Ketiga..

"Siap dia..Perang besar neh..Jaga dia!!!.."..rengus Abang Pertama marah..

..Ohhh..Abang-Abang Gangster 3 rupanya..Patutlah nampak power...

Aku dah bosan lepak sorang-sorang..Lalu aku mengangkat punggungku untuk beransur..Lalu gua pon lalu sebelah meja brader-brader tadi...

"Abang-abang,dah tengok Ombak Rindu?"..tanya gua lembut...

...Diam..Tiada sepatah ayat pon keluar dari mulut masing-masing...

Air mata bergenang masing-masing....Lalu terus mengeluarkan handphone dan menelefon awek masing-masing...

..Dan aku terus berlalu..Dalam hati ada taman...Lalu aku tersenyum panjang....